Dating Scams In India: A Tale Of A Horrible Romance, Fraud, And An Impulsively Extravagant Dinner.

If dating and finding a good partner is one of your goals this new year, pause and read this. A hookah, two cocktails, and nachos – a simple first-date order- became a nightmare for a 26-year-old man. You may ask how. What if I say that this mere ambience cost INR 10,000? What? You read that right.

This East Delhi citizen received an “unrealistic” bill of approx Rs 10,000, and when he complained regarding it, he was thrashed and assaulted brutally by restaurant personnel. This poor guy was also allegedly sexually assaulted, and the crime continued by blackmailing him to pay INR 8,000 extra and give them his car keys and mobile. The July 27 event looks to be the capital’s latest internet fraud – a dating app extortion scam.

And if you think this is just a single case of such an event, then you may wonder how the list continues to be a series of such drastic and malicious dating scams. 

Case 1- How did he swip right and find himself in a scam?

A 25-year-old journalist based in Delhi tells how he fell into a scam after he had a cafe meet with a girl whom he had connected over the dating app Bumble. He was billed ₹15,886 for a few drinks. He further reveals how such scams are going in the national capital, where girls are being employed to scam folks and dupe heavy amounts from them.

Case:2 – Another incident from September mentioned how a man fell prey to this dating scam in his strong desire to end a two-year dating drought.

He adds that the lady whom he connected on another dating app, Tinder, wanted to meet in Rajouri Garden. When he reached, then she sent another location 1km away and called the prey to meet at a cafe studio. As the place looked shady, he asked her to go to someplace that had a good map rating. But when the woman insisted, he reluctantly gave in since he was desperate to break his two-year dating streak. He further regrettably gives the breakdown of the orders that included a costly hookah priced at 5,000 rupees and five shots of vodka, each at 800 rupees. 

However, he was first given a bill totalling 15,500 rupees for these things plus additional fees for fries and services; this figure was then lowered to 14,000 rupees. This was the moment he realized something was fishy, and he was now entangled in the net.

Online dating is now a common way for people to meet possible mates and form romantic relationships in the digital era of love and connection. Amidst the stories of successful matches and sweet love stories, however, lurks a darker side of online dating: the frequency of scams that not only break hearts but also result in large monetary losses. 

How do we know that this is a scam?

Nothing is sure shot foolproof; however, there are some red flags that, if noticed earlier, can help one stay safe from these dating scams.

The Café Setup: 

The trap is set when it’s time to meet in person and further the connection. The con artist highlights the convenience of meeting at a place they have already visited and proposes a specific meeting spot, which is typically a café or bar. Somehow, the lady insists that the victim meet only at a specific place. The victim accepts, eager to go forward and unaware of any ulterior intentions.

The Myth of Affordability:

As the victim enjoys the company, the scammer maintains an air of charm and confidence, deflecting attention away from what is happening around them. They keep ordering rounds of drinks, including expensive shots, and may even propose trying a hookah if one is available. Unaware of the fraud, the victim enjoys the company of the scammers and pays no attention to the rising bill. Sometimes, the bill that is generated is hiked, and the actual price of the stuff ordered can be as little as half the bill generated.

The Startling Discovery of exorbitant bills:

When the victim eventually realises the mounting bill and attempts to halt the buying excitement, it is too late. The bill has topped Rs. 10,000 or more, shocking the sufferer. Or if you say that the bill is exorbitant and the prices are false, then you hit the nail in your coffin. The bar personnel will start to harass you, and if they can’t catch you in their trap, they have their ‘hukum ka ikka’, aka the bouncers who will forcibly make you pay the bill.

If you try to share the bill, the fraudster conveniently claims to have no means of payment, such as she isn’t carrying cash and doesn’t use a UPI or card, leaving the victim alone and responsible for settling the massive bill. Even if you try to do something here, the Café’s bouncers will resolve it in their own way, leaving the victim with little choice but to pay the full sum.

The occurrence of these scams and the late revelation of such crimes.

Several ‘victims’ like this have been shared as sob tales over the years, and it sounded like a broken record of failed expectations and empty wallets. However, there aren’t many headlines or shreds of evidence to back up the cause. Many incidences are unreported because men are embarrassed about how others will react to them. Some of the ‘victims’ claim that the bouncers in the pubs threatened them to pay up. 

It appears to be organised crime rather than a scam. One of the victims stated that he, too, went to the police. They treated him well at the station and filed a complaint against him. However, there has been no FIR. 

Even if there are complaints, the police have highlighted many difficulties in such situations. They monitor the cases, but immediate arrests are impossible because the men paid the bill of their own free will. Furthermore, the crime of raising prices is not arrest. Such cases are prosecutable in court. According to investigators, while none of the women have been recognised, if they are not using forged credentials and have just “blocked” the victim, which is not a crime.

The events are complicated. The exaggerated bill is the only crime here. Unlike previous scams, the individuals engaged do not hide behind false identities, conduct forgeries, or steal money from an account. They simply force the individual to pay more. Most complainants do not fight over the bill at the restaurant and later find they have been scammed.

The real question is, who is behind this, and what are the cops doing to stop it? 

Is this considered cybercrime? There is also some ambiguity there. But, as the adage continues, every cloud has a silver lining. People are now becoming somewhat of a dating scam expert, albeit unintentionally. So, here’s my wise counsel: If you’re looking for something serious, avoid dating apps. If you must use an app, meet in public, split the bill (it’s not uncool for men, though), and avoid overly eager dates.